MIND OF MINE

by    SUMIT ACHARYA

( An Author as Guest Appearance )

                                   
Somehow I feel like, everything is supposed to be fine now. I won't take you long back into my life that will be boring right. Because I am not that famous at all or simply I have no any great story to share with you! Hope one fine day I will be, and this will all make sense and it will be more interesting. Then I will write from the very beginning. But for today, let me take you all ahead of time, and begin where I am in my life.

So, Where to start or what to write? Here, I have faced a bit confusing or lost myself by thinking out loud to hypothesize that what should be on my writing!

One day, Basanta dada approached me to write something, while I had stated that I also wish to write but never tried before. I was very excited as well as flabbergasted at the moment, excited because he encouraged me to write & stated that I can also write. Flabbergasted because of my fear & anxiety to start writing & still thinking that how can dada  saying all this I can also write? Because, likely to everyone I also know about myself!!

Moving on, Basanta dada is well-known to me. Those who know him won’t disagree with me that he often writes on socio-political, gender and other issues on various digital media outlets besides his blogs. For me, have you watched that LOREAL advertisement on T.V.? Which says, five problems one solution. In the same way, I use to chant. “Any problem? One solution; BASANTA DA!” I think, you can guess that what the importance of dada in my life! If not, will tell on one fine day!

Meanwhile, back to the point! When dada approached me to write, I was lost. No, no. Not a Mela, Bazar or the Street likewise the story lines of old Hindi movies! I was lost in my mind. Sounds funny right! How could it be? He is exaggerating, many will say that, but trust me that’s the truth. Also, I am a student of Psychology, so it is not acceptable for me to get lost in myself, right? But even doctors fell ill. So, I guess what happened then was a very human thing. Although, I was surrounded with a lot of people, everybody around me used to assume, that I was a get along person, but I wasn’t. I was always fond of loving myself more. I prioritized higher and I liked it. I love being alone. But being alone didn’t mean I was a sociopath. I used to watch a lot of series (web series), movies, read books, play games, sleep... God! I feel like a Panda sometimes. So, I was a happy little teen busy in his own little world.

But this easiness was about to end !!

Knock, knock... Who’s there? Humans !! Humans who? Open the door and you will know.

And my happy little world shattered into pieces. I started getting along with HUMANS. At the beginning it was fun and thrilling. What an experience, it was! I loved it. I was so enjoying it, that I forgot who I am and what my identity. I was the happiest person alive at that moment. Because I was away from home and I was roaming making new friends, having new stuff and liked it.

But, somewhere deep below the Mind of Mine wasn’t liking it. Maybe it also tried to stop me. Not maybe, I am sure it did try. And I didn’t choose to listen. And the conflict thus began. The mind says something, I do the opposite. At first, no such problems occurred, but gradually the conflict became so strong that I had a breakdown. The body after so many rejections ultimately gave up and I was trapped in my mind. I was lost…

There is a very famous proverb, “Even the darkest cloud, have a Silver Lining”. For me there were two rays of hope. The 1st remains confidential for now, and the second was none other than my problem solver Basanta da. He somehow came to know about my situation, which I haven’t shared with any Humans then, because the reason why I went through that breakdown were also humans, so I stopped trusting a soul other than that confidential one, but dada came to know about it and came to the rescue.

Since then life has changed dramatically. I wasn’t serious in life; I was self obsessed (I am still).I was directionless. But now I think I know who I am. And also, I think I know the potential that I have within me. And hope so, I am in a right path now…

At the end, what did I learn from my journey? To answer this I have a dialogue, “Kabhi Kabhi, Kuch pane k liye, kuch khona bhi padta hai”. What did I lose? My personal space, my sophisticated little world. And what did I gain? Insight and spiritualisation. If you ask me what spiritualisation is? The answer is going to be when you become aware of your potential and strive towards attaining it, happily without any fear and regrets, you become spiritualized. So, sometimes it’s good to go with the flow and when you realize it’s time to halt. Put on your breaks and stop right there and then. So, sometimes it’s good to go with the flow and when you realize it’s time to halt. Put on your breaks and stop right there and then. In my case I was lucky enough to have two paddlers to help me applying those breaks.

This is all for today. Thanks for your happy reading !
Please feel free to write on the comment box ! Hope to hear from you. Thanks.

DISCLAIMER :

The opinions expressed within this article are the personal opinions of the author. The facts and opinions appearing in the article do not reflect the views or opinions of the Admin of this blog site and the blog site does not assume any responsibility or liability for the same.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

SUMIT ACHARYA, A 20 year graduates student having a degree in Psychology, a devotee of Lord Shiva; who dreams a lot and wants to bring a change. Not to the society or the generation but to himself, first.